Recently I had some close people in my life pass away, as a result I started externalizing my problems which put me on downward spiral. My positive self talk was now dark and eating away at any positivity I had let. It affected multiple relationships including one closest me. I felt as though what ever I action I took I would lose people. I did not feel worthy of self-love, or any love, so I pushed them away. I distorted all my thoughts and eventually reached the flat effect. I lost everything in this spiral, my job, friends, family and not just from death, from my self-destructive behavior. I distorted my thoughts and turned any positivity into negativity. Later I found out this behaviour is the root of most psychological disorders: Cognitive distortion.
It used to fascinate me how so many of us can bravely go out in the world and live life without any hindrances, no need to address others concerns or needs. The famous movie, Forrest Gump is a real pioneer to this. In the movie Forrest has strong ideologies and principle motivations as he travels the world solo. Much like those with the avoidant attachment style. Maybe being independent means we avoid emotional closeness and depression.
As we depend on each other we get attached. Listed in one of my previous posts there is four main adult attachment types: secure, anxious, avoidant and anxious avoidant. In this article I want to talk about the most popular adult attachment type, Secure.
In today's relationships we are often led to value independence and be fully autonomous. Having this attitude can lead to overlooked hardships in our relationships. Maybe it's fear of losing one’s self? Often during times of high stress, emotions and pressure we have a need to showcase our independence.
An alarming number of us may be depressed without knowing. It makes sense. Our world is beginning to become more and more divided. Our news and media tells us what to think. As a result we are not living our true authentic selves. When we are not living to our true authentic selves we are hindering our progression of growth and may actually subconciously be harming our selves with patterns you, your friends, family and even your collegauges may fail to recognize.
Through the years I get periods of extreme fatigue, and an unclear thought pattern. These patterns would last months at a time; it felt as though I had a clear thought, or the intent of a clear thought but it was unclear at the same time. For months at a time I started to describe this phenomenon as "brain fog". I knew something was wrong so I did my homework.
I hear it all around me, and quite often. "I am too busy", or "Sorry I didn't text I was busy". A good, positive work life balance is something that is difficult to achieve, especially for entrepreneurs. Without specific and intentional management of this balance – we can be overwhelmed or carried away by the various demands that jobs and lives throw at us and the resulting stress can cause a variety of mental and physical health challenges. Reaching a positive work/life balance can be especially difficult during times when workloads and schedules are increased or altered from your normal routine.
Being apart of many Facebook support groups I noticed a lot of adolescents suffering from some sort of depression caused by break ups and relationship drama. I believe by understanding our emotions and human behaviours we can be armed with a good understanding of how we act as humans. With this ammunition we can better train our minds to prepare and look for some behaviours to understand some of the situations life throws at us. In past posts I went into some common emotions we see as negative to see how they can help us; In this article I am going through what I believe is a basic cycle of many relationships. I cannot speak for all relationships but I have noticed these common behaviours in a large number of relationships my friends, family and even I had.
At its worst, depression can be a frightening, debilitating condition. Millions of people around the world live with depression. Many of these individuals and their families are afraid to talk about their struggles, and don't know where to turn for help. However, depression is largely preventable and treatable. Recognizing depression and seeking help is the first and most critical towards recovery.