It used to fascinate me how so many of us can bravely go out in the world and live life without any hindrances, no need to address others concerns or needs. The famous movie, Forrest Gump is a real pioneer to this. In the movie Forrest has strong ideologies and principle motivations as he travels the world solo. Much like those with the avoidant attachment style. Maybe being independent means we avoid emotional closeness and depression.
As we depend on each other we get attached. Listed in one of my previous posts there is four main adult attachment types: secure, anxious, avoidant and anxious avoidant. In this article I want to talk about the most popular adult attachment type, Secure.
In today's relationships we are often led to value independence and be fully autonomous. Having this attitude can lead to overlooked hardships in our relationships. Maybe it's fear of losing one’s self? Often during times of high stress, emotions and pressure we have a need to showcase our independence.
Being apart of many Facebook support groups I noticed a lot of adolescents suffering from some sort of depression caused by break ups and relationship drama. I believe by understanding our emotions and human behaviours we can be armed with a good understanding of how we act as humans. With this ammunition we can better train our minds to prepare and look for some behaviours to understand some of the situations life throws at us. In past posts I went into some common emotions we see as negative to see how they can help us; In this article I am going through what I believe is a basic cycle of many relationships. I cannot speak for all relationships but I have noticed these common behaviours in a large number of relationships my friends, family and even I had.
I used to be afraid of a lot of things in life. Fear seemed to have consumed a large portion of who I was; and it hindered my progress in almost every aspect of my life, from pushing to be better at sports in fear of self injury (okay that one is reasonable), fear of progressing at work, and even fear of relationships and commitment. Some times I was afraid that some stranger would attack me in a dark alley. My fear controlled such a huge aspect of my life that it pushed away almost everything that was good for me.
In one of my previous posts, To Love is to be Alert, I outlined the importance of being alert. It teaches us to see what is really out there that there are plenty of good things inside others and us. As you practices being alert take some time be alert not just in nature as your out for a walk but also in all aspects of your life, especially your relationships.
© Life's Alright